samuanu

Today is the 2nd of Poush, my birthday. In the past, this day used to arrive with your message, almost like a quiet ritual. This year, it did not. Its all ok because its ur choice It’s alright. Perhaps, in your eyes, I am a wrong person now. And maybe remembering a wrong person on their birthday feels unnecessary, or even enough to darken the day. If that is so, then silence may have felt like the better choice. Time changes meanings, priorities, and people. I am slowly learning to accept that some connections fade not because they lacked value, but because they have reached their natural end. Today, too, passed quietly—without expectations or resentment—just with reflection. I let the day be what it was and allow things to remain as they are. Still, I find myself wondering—did you remember me, or my birthday, on that day?

  Lately, every conversation we had has left my mind silent — not peaceful, but blank and heavy, like all thoughts froze at once. You once said your mind goes blank while talking to me… and now I understand that feeling in my own heart. Inside me, questions rise endlessly — not because I expect answers, but because the heart sometimes asks what the mind cannot explain: How did I become someone who brings you negative energy? Was my presence really a source of discomfort for you? Was it a mistake for me to reach out, to speak, to care? Will you always hold a negative image of me in your heart? Maybe these questions have no meaning anymore, but silence sometimes hurts more than unanswered words. You asked me not to talk, not to even try — to stay away so that your mind can be at peace. I am trying. Truly, I am trying. But trying does not stop a heart from feeling, or memories from breathing. For many days, I struggled quietly within myself, yet I didn’t want to disturb your weekend. ...